BOY, am I in trouble.
It seems that lately my life has been getting more complicated, and I want to thank those of you who are brave enough to still associate with me regardless of what I have become.
The following is a recap of my current identity: I was born white, which makes me a racist.
I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which makes me a fascist.
I am heterosexual, which makes me a homophobic.
I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business.
I am Judeo/Christian, which makes me an infidel I am well older than 60 which makes me a useless old person.
I think and I reason; therefore I doubt much that the mainstream media tells me, which makes me a reactionary.
I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive British/Manx culture, which makes me a xenophobe.
I value my safety and that of my family; therefore I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist.
I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which makes me anti-social.
I, and my friends, acquired a reasonable education without student loans and no debt at graduation, which makes me some kind of odd underachiever.
I believe in the defence and protection of the homeland by all citizens, which makes me a militarist.
Please help me come to terms with this, because I‘m not sure who I am anymore.
My newest problem – I’m not sure I know which bathroom I should use.
Lucky I have only one.
David Braithwaite Address supplied
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