BOY, am I in trouble.

It seems that lately my life has been getting more complicated, and I want to thank those of you who are brave enough to still associate with me regardless of what I have become.

The following is a recap of my current identity: I was born white, which makes me a racist.

I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which makes me a fascist.

I am heterosexual, which makes me a homophobic.

I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business.

I am Judeo/Christian, which makes me an infidel I am well older than 60 which makes me a useless old person.

I think and I reason; therefore I doubt much that the mainstream media tells me, which makes me a reactionary.

I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive British/Manx culture, which makes me a xenophobe.

I value my safety and that of my family; therefore I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist.

I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which makes me anti-social.

I, and my friends, acquired a reasonable education without student loans and no debt at graduation, which makes me some kind of odd underachiever.

I believe in the defence and protection of the homeland by all citizens, which makes me a militarist.

Please help me come to terms with this, because I‘m not sure who I am anymore.

My newest problem – I’m not sure I know which bathroom I should use.

Lucky I have only one.

David Braithwaite Address supplied