IT’S the end of another year and maybe it’s my age, but I do find I am becoming more nostalgic or could it be associated with the old belief that elephants go home to die?

Memory Lane is filled with wonderful scenery enhanced by wearing rose-coloured spectacles. Don’t dash to Specsavers, they don’t sell them. If you are young you might as well go and make your grandparents a cup of tea because this will bore you. Grandparents you might as well go and help because you too won’t appreciate my self- indulgence.

Who remembers when salt and shake crisps were all there was? When hands that do dishes could feel soft as your face? Old Spice. Tic Tacs. The Dandy. The Beano. The first mini dress. Girdles and ladies’ suspenders and stockings which could be held up using a small coin. Milky Bars. Popeye. Mr Ed. Huckleberry Hound. I Love Lucy. Yogi Bear. Love Hearts. Fisherman’s Friends. Sherbet Dib Dabs. Health And Efficiency. Alphabet letters. Candy Necklaces. Fizz Bombs. Refreshers. Lady Chatterley’s Lover. Cliff in Summer Holiday. Cadet cigarettes. You’re never alone with a Strand. Cherry B. Babycham. The first ever Coronation Street. Alf Garnett. Radio Caroline. Radio Luxembourg under the bedclothes club. Winkle pickers. Brothel Creepers. Drainpipes. Lambrettas. Parkers. DAs. The TV test card. Funny comedy shows.

Brylcreem. Pop Hornbys. Hipsters. Fish and chips in newspaper. Going to work on a pushbike. Raffia. Coffee bars. Wimpy Bars. Cool cats. Cats in shop windows. Flick knives. Flipper. Skippy. Lassie. Butlins Redcoats. Six-Five special. Diana Dors. Legs and Co. Chimney sweeps. Juke Box Jury. Gipsies selling lucky heather. Swimming in the river Weaver. Red phone boxes. Rolf Harris. (Can you tell what it is yet?) The Stylophone.

The assassination of Kennedy. Ultra-violet lights in discos which highlighted dandruff. Hand signals when driving.

Teachers wearing ties. Free school milk. Spangles. Florins. Threepenny bits. Esso Blue. Dolly Blue. Love Me Do.

Ballroom dancing. Yoyos. Top and whip. Queeny O Cocoa, who’s got the ball? Liquorice root. Morris Mini Minor. John Profumo. Elvis in Acapulco. The Platters. Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep. Stout. The Saint. The Prisoner. Nylon sheets. The Lone Ranger. The Loan arranger actually in the bank. Enoch Powell. Blackboards.

The first bikinis. ‘You wonder where the yellow went when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent’. Oxydol. Toilet seats that don’t keep coming loose. Busy pubs. Pianos in pubs. Hot sunny summers.

The tally man. Polite policemen. Helpful shop assistants. Farmers actually growing things. The cane. Double decker buses. The great big slipper to put both feet in. Proper football. Leather footballs. The Cold War. Toilets at the bottom of the garden. Newspaper instead of loo rolls. Izal toilet paper. The Woodentops. Sputnik. Spud U Like. Hopscotch. A hoop and a stick. Bluebell woods. The Hollies. Marc Bolan. Tommy Cooper. The first man on the Moon. The second man on the Moon. Nurses who nursed. Ward sisters. The coal man. The Titanic. Adolf Hitler. Hi Ho Silver Lining. Pop guns. Sobranie Black Russian. Scurvy. Saturday Night And Sunday Morning. The Good Life. Golliwogs on jam jars.

Happy New Year.

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