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Author Unknown »
Time to hang up the leadlights!
Posted on 10:04am Thursday 29th July 2010
MS NOMATES says that I am a hypochondriac just because I whinge and whine a little.
Author Unknown »
Old men can’t keep up with the kids!
Posted on 11:06am Friday 28th May 2010
‘I BEG your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden’.
Author Unknown »
I do imagine strange things sometimes
Posted on 11:18am Thursday 20th May 2010
THE general election came and stayed. We certainly showed the rest of the world how it’s done didn’t we? I bet the Afghans can’t wait to surrender now and experience the same sophistication as we did.
Billy Nomates »
The Goody Two Shoes
Posted on 10:25am Thursday 15th April 2010
I HAVE always believed that you should never trust a man who doesn’t take a drink. Tea-totallers everywhere will be having a fit but it does hold some modicum of truth.
Author Unknown »
Arty Farty
Posted on 9:26am Thursday 8th April 2010
I WOULD like to thank the wonderful local artist – soon to be internationally famous if I have my way – Michael Troy.
Author Unknown »
Nomates hygiene is second to none!
Posted on 9:38am Monday 29th March 2010
IF you should ever follow any one of my brothers into the gents... I’ll start again. If you ever watch any one of my brothers in the gents… No wait. This does not sound as it should, does it?
Billy Nomates »
The cheaper the prices, the quicker the service
Posted on 9:34am Tuesday 23rd March 2010
I’LL tell you something. My moan last year about Mrs Dawdle keeping us all waiting at the tills has worked wonders in some quarters.
Billy Nomates »
Arty Farty
Posted on 10:31am Thursday 4th March 2010
I DID art in school. I hate to blow my own trumpet – nobody else will touch it – but my chalk drawing of a wine bottle and grapes should be in the Tate National Gallery, if for no other reason than I included both blue and green grapes and the label on the bottle was spelled correctly in French.
Author Unknown »
Help for Haiti
Posted on 9:22am Thursday 11th February 2010
THERE is nothing funny about the tragedy which has happened in Haiti.
Author Unknown »
‘Have a nice day now’
Posted on 9:12am Thursday 4th February 2010
DEAR MD of my Energy Company, (I can’t name names but it begins with N) How’s your day? (I hate it when they say that).
Author Unknown »
Get a grip Mr Brown
Posted on 8:49am Friday 8th January 2010
DEAR Mr Brown, I hope your bunch enjoyed the long Christmas break, which we, the British public, paid for one way or another.
Author Unknown »
Don't throw Billy Nomates on the fire!
Posted on 10:10am Sunday 13th December 2009
MS NOMATES and I were invited to a bonfire, or to be accurate, her youngest had been invited and we were tagged on to the invitation.
Author Unknown »
Our teenage breakdown in Tesco
Posted on 8:50am Thursday 10th December 2009
MS Nomates and I went to Tesco to get a newspaper. Why does the Daily Mail only put the free DVDs in those sold in either WH Smith or Tesco? Ronnie Rover began to play up. We thought, maybe it was because he doesn’t like Tesco or maybe he doesn’t like going shopping on Sunday, which is somewhat understandable.
Author Unknown »
Does everybody get a free hair in soup?
Posted on 8:59am Monday 7th December 2009
BEFORE I kick off I want to make it perfectly clear that so far I have had nothing but good service and courtesy from the staff of a well known establishment which can’t be named for legal reasons.
Billy Nomates »
All I want for Christmas is a good google!
Posted on 10:13am Thursday 19th November 2009
ANY day now we will have the Christmas cacophony from every corner ‘And so this is Christmas and what have we done? Another year older la la.’ To be perfectly honest, not a lot.
Billy Nomates »
Sometimes things just come to me
Posted on 10:48am Thursday 5th November 2009
NORTHWICH was within the sovereignty of Vale Royal until some bright spark thought of a great way to waste money by changing us, so we now fall within the new unitary authority of Chester West and Chester.
Billy Nomates »
'RING A DING A DING DONG’
Posted on 9:44am Tuesday 3rd November 2009
MY digital alarm goes off at five am. It should be six, but I can’t set the blooming thing.
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