I don’t know about you but I really resent being asked for my age, name, address, telephone number etc when I’m ordering a simple product on line.

If I’m prepared to pay £20 for a dog bed and they have one to sell why do they need to know my age and phone number?

At that point I usually terminate the transaction. I’m very wary of dishing out my personal information willy-nilly and I always unsubscribe to companies I don’t wish to hear from yet still those emails and ‘offers’ come.

Given that I guard my privacy with such fierce determination I’ve been wondering how companies and organisations still get hold of it. After  comprehensive surveillance I think I have the answer.

I opened our post box this morning to find among a bundle of junk mail a letter addressed to our boiler.

I kid thee not. Nestled right at the bottom of the mailbox was a brown envelope (and we all know what these are used for) addressed directly to ‘The Boiler.’

I’ve had words with The Boiler and he assures me he ‘ain’t said nuffing, guv,’ but I’ve marked his card. One more breach of security and he’ll be a copper bracelet.

By Guardian columnist Vic Barlow