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Cameron and Clegg are from another galaxy
‘LAST Christmas, I gave you my heart.
But the very next day, You gave it away.
This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special.’
Meaningful words you might say if you are the type who looks behind the lyric like I do.
Last Christmas, as we were struggling with Gordon The Gofer Brown, many of us promised to give our hearts to somebody new. (My letter to Santa did ask for him to be shot and let the elves run the country but alas it didn’t happen.) This Christmas will be ruined by those two great pantomime artistes, Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee. He’s behind them! No he isn’t. No one is behind them?
Watching Cameron and Clegg is like watching The Morecambe and Wise Christmas Show. It’s one joke after another. ‘Growth’ they say. The growth they promise this year will come from borrowing.
‘Christmas is coming, the economy has gone flat, put all your pennies in Mr Cameron’s hat’.
They have already ruined Christmas for so many this year but never mind, they have a plan, an alternative feel good factor. It is the big society, but what is the big society?
Sayeeda Warsi, the Conservative party chairman, proudly related a story of how locals in a community cleaned up a car park. Bully for them but that is what council workers get paid for.
Limpy Les is a big union man who hates the idea of anyone taking jobs from the workers and I have no intention of interfering in another man’s job.
Take the other day; I was in Ms Nomates’ front garden trimming her bush when a neighbour stopped to admire my handywork.
‘I wonder if you could do mine too?’ she asked. It was bad enough when your neighbour asked for a cup of sugar for no sooner had you obliged, her husband thought it was the green light to borrow your garden shears.
Now, instead of borrowing a tool, you get asked to do odd jobs for a woman just because she lives in the same street.
Why would I even think of going round to another woman’s house while her hubby is out?
You can put that thought out of your head for a start!
If cleaning car parks, where you have to pay to leave your a car, is an example of the big society you can stick it.
Two societies are enough for me, The Cooperative Society and the Cheshire Building Society, neither of which hold enough to buy a sweeping brush let alone a turkey.
Ms Nomates was not best pleased that another woman had asked me round to her house, no matter what for. ‘I’ll give her what for’ she yelled. ‘I can read her like a book and she is certainly not a Mills And Boon, but more of a Jackie Collins or Jilly Cooper’.
I don’t want to always appear to be negative about our new leaders so I will try and say something positive.
I am positive they are from another galaxy.
Planet parliament has now come up with a cracker of a plan to help us to pay for them; cut jobs, stop benefits to our own disabled, sting university students and pay bankers more so they don’t leave the banks for a better job.
‘Education, education, education’, they cry. But the first thing you learn when going to university is how to borrow money. If our future governors, chancellors and ministers need to get to grips with anything at an early age it is how to get up to the neck in debt.
You can forget electricians, plumbers, joiners, engineers, manufacturers and entrepreneurs we need ‘The Borrowers’.
They tell us our economy is based on growth but the only thing getting bigger is our obligation to others.
Are we to really believe that to be successful in the world today we have to be up to our eyes in debt? Christmas is just round the corner and for most of us is it going to prove to be so very easy?